


If

by Zip001



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bromance, F/M, Infidelity, Oral Sex, Time Travel Fix-It, True Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-03
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-11 22:13:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 8
Words: 15,953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7072570
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zip001/pseuds/Zip001
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Continuation of a fill originally for Valar morekinks LJ prompt (part of first chapter originally posted in LJ and deleted for reasons and second chapter onwards not posted to LJ)</p><p>Lyanna+Sansa time travel AU</p><p>Due to some type of magic, Sansa is sent back in time into the body of Lyanna Stark, permanently, right after the knight of the laughing tree incident took place. How does Sansa try to change things, and do her actions effect the course of the realm? I would love to see Sansa dealing with seeing young Ned and Cat, and trying to figure out how she should proceed with Rhaegar and Robert, due to her knowledge about Jon's paternity.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Da capo

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Sarah_Black](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sarah_Black/gifts), [Tommyginger](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tommyginger/gifts), [Shortsandramblings](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shortsandramblings/gifts), [darth_invader](https://archiveofourown.org/users/darth_invader/gifts).



> First chapter is also posted in my Sansa Prompts and posted here to give background for the new chapters.
> 
> The title comes from a poem by Rudyard Kipling with the same title. The virtues embodied in the poem reminds me of the qualities of Sansa.
> 
> This tale is also written for naerys, who loves Sansa with Arthur.

When the mad King screamed for the Hound to beat her into submission and she saw the Hound's wild scared eyes, Sansa prayed to the gods old and new to take her away.

She awoke in an unfamiliar room. There was surprisingly no pain. Instead, Sansa felt different, so strong and hard. Her arms and long legs were toned, and her hands were rough like Arya's from riding horses. And her hair was not red like her mother's hair! Looking into the mirror, she saw the face staring wide eyed at her was reminiscent of the statue of her father's beloved sister. She muffled her yell and tried to not panic.

Looking around her room, she saw the blue winter rose crown for the queen of love and beauty, still fresh and beautiful. With a short intake of breath, she realized that Prince Rhaegar and his knights Arthur Dayne and Oswell Whent were soon to take her, starting the chain of events that led to the deaths of her grandfather, uncle and countless others in Robert's Rebellion.

Her father never talked about his sister but she heard from Old Nan many stories about Lyanna, who Old Nan said had too much wolf in her and not enough sense, which always made Arya laugh at Sansa, pointing out that Sansa neither had any wolf in her nor any sense! Thinking back, she admitted ruefully that she did not have the sense to realize how evil her betrothed and his mother were until it was much too late. But Arya was wrong in that it was the wolf in her that kept her alive with the enemy all around her; and she had learned many hard lessons about trust (to trust no one, especially those who act nice to you) and about love (that it can become twisted and lead to madness like the love that Cersei had for her brother).

She remembered everything she wished she could undo. Was this her chance to change everything? To save her family? To save her people, all those bannermen and their forces who supported her brother? To save the kingdom from the mad rule of King Joffrey?

But if she somehow foiled Prince Rhaegar, would the results be worse? She remembered that his father, King Aerys, was mad, both sadistic and paranoid, while the Prince was well regarded and well-loved by the people. She wasn't sure that other rebellions wouldn't have otherwise occurred to ravage the Kingdom even if her aunt wasn't kidnapped or ran away as some have whispered. The Lannisters alone could have also rebelled the crown as she recalled stories that the King desired Lord Tywin's beloved wife, Lady Joanna, and it was Ser Jaime Lannister himself who killed the mad King! If her grandfather and uncle did not die, her mother would not have married her father, meaning that they wouldn't have her or her siblings. But that also meant that her siblings wouldn't all be ruthlessly murdered, as she strongly suspected her little sister also was killed or worse.

However, she could not and would not put her interest and the interests of her family above the interests of everyone else. Her mother stressed the importance of family above all else, which affected her mother's relationship with Jon, who was viewed as a threat to Sansa and her siblings, especially to Robb. And her mother's single mindedness in this also led to her to bizarre kidnapping of Tyrion which led to Lord Tywin's invasion of the riverlands and the War of the Five Kings. She loved her mother but did not want to repeat the same mistakes her mother made.

Instead of thinking of all of the ramifications of each course of action and be confused by all the possibilities, she needed to think what she wanted as an end result.

At the end of the day, who did she think should be King? Not mad King Aerys. Not the incompetent King Robert Baratheon. Not Lord Tywin with his evil brood who could succeed him. Not her father who was too naive and unwise to lead. In her mind, everything led to the Prince who was coming for her. He needed to somehow succeed to the crown as soon as possible, but that meant that his father must die. But his reign could not start with kinslaying nor with bride stealing. Sansa did not know what she could really do, but she must try.

She waited with scissors in her hand. When Ser Arthur Dayne came through the window, she was already next to her door and told him that she would scream if he came closer and waved her scissors threateningly.

Surprised, he raised his hands to placate her.

"I came from the future - from year 299 AC. I am telling you that you cannot take Lyanna. If you do, Prince Rhaegar will be cut down by Lord Robert Baratheon, you will die by the hand of the Northerners and your sister will throw herself out of a tower to your death."

"My lady, did you hit your head? It will be well - you just need to come with me and we will take care of you and your injury." He tried to step closer but moved back when she made to open the door.

"You don't believe me, but below is your sworn brother Ser Oswell Whent, who will also die with you in front of the Tower of Joy."

Arthur was surprised but realized that all knew that his brother is almost always with him. She was crazy as she was beautiful, his prince's love.

"Valar Morghulis - all men must die. It is something that both I and Oswell, along with all fighters, know well. You may or may not have sight but you cannot change fate." He thought if he distracted her that he may be able to surprise her although she was quicker and fiercer than he expected for a lady.

"I think we can change the future for the good. You are a good man but you serve a King who you know is both mad and cruel."

Arthur bristled, "I serve my Prince. He is true and just."

She laughed, "Do just and true men and knights steal unwilling ladies who are betrothed to others? And you know, deep in your heart, that you effectively serve the Mad King as you do nothing to stop his madness, but instead you enable him. You and your Prince are as culpable and guilty as he as you both do nothing to stop his madness! Do you know that even with all of your prior brave deeds you will be always remembered in my time as the weak knight who served both a mad King and lovesick fool of a prince?"

While the lady is obviously mad, she made many sound points, many things he thought about but tried to ignore. He tried to focus on the actions of his prince but any good deed of his prince was offset more than one thousand time by the evil deeds of the King.

"Ser Arthur, you know well that the kingdom is a boiling cauldron, just a single drop could set the kitchen afire. Your prince taking me will bring the ire of the Northerners upon you and yours. Many innocent lives will be lost, including your sister. Winter is coming, and it is coming for you!" she hissed.

"You know that your Prince would make a good king. His father can die quickly in his sleep with a small drop of tears of Lys in his cup of wine. Your king has stockpiled wildfire that he can at any moment lit, engulfing Kingslanding into flames, killing your prince and all of those innocent people. You can do this for the kingdom, for your prince, your sworn brothers, and your sister."

"My lady, you speak of treason. I caution you to be careful here. We cannot speak of this." His face was ashen, but he understood the full implications of her words. As a member of the Kingsguard, he knew of the stockpiling, but how could a Northern lady know of this unless she was from the future? Could he save his prince and countless others?

"I understand what you are saying. But you need to tell your prince that Lyanna is not going with you or him. She is betrothed to another. That dream of his cannot be - it is not right nor proper. He is a prince and must do his duty to his kingdom, his wife and his children. Please tell him... I cannot love a selfish man, a man who thinks only of himself and not others."

The knight looked deeply into her eyes, nodded slowly and bowed. He stepped out of the window.

Years later, she would sometimes muse what would have happened if she followed the knight and ran away with her prince. But then she smiled as she looked down at the chubby face of her babe, Arthur Baratheon, with hair so black and eyes so blue that it looked almost dark violet.

======

Her uncle Brandon is exactly what Old Nan described - more wolf than man. He was quick to anger and fiercely loyal; and he found his true match in her mother, young Catelyn Tully, who looked like a genteel Southern lady but who was as fiery as her red hair.

When they wed, Sansa was almost overwhelmed to see how young, beautiful and overjoyed Catelyn was on her wedding day to a man who was not Ned, her father. On that day, Catelyn looked like a spitting image of herself on the day she met Joffrey - auburn hair in elaborate braids with a few strands framing her face, sparkling and happy blue eyes, creamy complexion that so blossomed in lovely pink blushes and pink lips curving in a smile so bright. Her uncle was equally taken by his bride, seemingly a delicate doll who pleasantly surprised him with her passion.

She shook her head still thinking about Brandon confiding in his siblings that in their bed chamber, Catelyn was like a wild horse that needed to be tamed. Ned blanched and quickly walked away while Benjen guffawed. Snorting, she told him that his wife would not pleased by his tales, which should be private between a husband and his lady wife. He retorted that he looked forward to being punished by his wife, a lady on the outside but a wildling at heart. But even if he weren't so verbose, everyone knew how happy his lady wife made him and he her. Their screams of passion echoed throughout the keep.

When they heard of the mad king's demise, Brandon urged his father to raise the Northern army to overthrow the new King. Catelyn strongly supported her husband and foolishly sent a raven to her father asking him the same. The two passionately argued that the King Rhaegar would grow mad like his father. Ned argued for caution; and her grandfather argued for more time to build further alliances with the other houses - once his daughter is wed to Robert Baratheon, who would bring with him the fierce navy and land forces of the Stormlanders.

Sansa shocked her family by asking if not King Rhaegar, who was to be King of the Seven Kingdoms? Rickard? Hoster Tully? None had the royal bloodlines. Who was to say that King Rhaegar may not go mad? He may rule wisely and justly - this was treason based on unfounded suppositions!

Her brother looked at her in betrayal as she always sided with him rather than dull Ned who put everybody to bed. But they were not thinking it through - what is the end game? She hoped that they would not recall that her betrothed had distant Targaryen lines - she somehow knew the the Stark brothers wouldn't know but wasn't sure about Lord Rickard Stark or her mother.

She felt sad seeing Catelyn's eyes narrowed with suspicion and flinched when she sneered that her good sister was bewitched by the new king's looks - that she remembered how her good sister glowed when he crowned her queen of love and beauty. Brandon hushed his angry wife and defended his sister's character and honor. That put an end to such talks. Luckily, her mother's raven either did not arrive at Riverrun or her grandfather Lord Hoster Tully had the good sense to hold.

The new King did bring the heads of the Houses Stark, Tully and Lannister for questioning on his father's suspiciously sudden death. He took the head of Lord Tywin but sent the other two great lords to the Wall. Keeping the second child of each house (that is, Ned, Lysa, Jaime, Stannis, Garland, etc.) as his wards and effectively prisoners, he maintained a long reign of peace and prosperity.

Unfortunately, the same could not be said about Brandon's wardenship of the North. Brandon had too many ideas which his wife actively supported, feeding his already too big ego. He decided to build like his namesake - unfortunately, he never finished the projects. Without the generousity of his good brothers, Edmure Tully and her husband, the North would have gone hungry many times over.

Sansa was so happy when Brandon and Catelyn had children who they named Robb, Bran, Arya and Rickon. With the exception of quiet Bran, his father's namesake, they were all rebellious like their father and hot blooded like both of their parents. They were all wolves.

She wanted another chance to have a relationship with Arya, but that was not to be. Even in this life, Arya would not take any responsibility for her actions and ran away with the butcher's boy to Braavos. They later heard tales of her many adventures as a sellsword.

Young Bran Stark was sent to Storm's End while her second son, Jon, (who had the slightest reddish hue to his dark hair) was sent to Winterfell. Both boys flourished in their new homes with Jon quickly helping the Stark household be more organized like the way his parents ran Storm's End. Sansa relished the moments when she was with her family, her giant but lovable husband (who did stray a bit but knew to be discrete), her boys (Arthur, Jon and red headed baby Addam who was born nine months after the last tournament her husband hosted), and Bran. It was bittersweet that when she was with Bran, she could not forget the past and what could have been. But she also could not help but be happy to have more moments with Bran who with Robert's kind instructions became a well renown knight, just like his and her hero, Ser Arthur Dayne.

======

"Fuck you, Robert!" exclaimed Ned as he read a missive from his brother Brandon that Robert had another bastard, this time with a lady from Dorne who he mistakenly thought was a courtesan. "You promised to treat my sister well, to not shame her."

Robert, Jon Arryn and he were close, like brothers. Unlike Jon and himself, Robert loved chasing skirts, catching them for the night and releasing them that night or the next morn. But Robert promised that he would change - that he loved Lyanna and would never dishonor her. Ned believed him.

When his sister voiced her concerns about Robert already having a bastard or two (actually, it was three), he discounted her concerns. Instead, he warned Robert about how willful and what a handful his sister was, that she was difficult to live with. He knew as he lived with her (and their oldest brother who was just as hot headed and wild). He loved his sister but she was stubborn, more stubborn than two mules as Old Nan would mutter under her breath.

He was wrong about Lyanna, who somehow seamlessly adapted to marriage. He thought she would feel trapped and would rebel. But she knew how to run a large keep, to organize great feasts, to sew (he had no clue that she could embroider such great works of art like the cloak she made for him for his name's day), etc. - mastering all the skills of a gentle lady wife. Lyanna was kind and gentle, always openly affectionate to her husband who he thought doted on her. In her letters to him (he was actually surprised how beautiful her script was as he recalled that Lyanna wrote like a wildling), she recounted her love for their children and how wonderful Robert was with their boys, Arthur, Jon and Addam, and with her.

If he didn't know any better, he would have thought that another person inhabited her sister's body. Laughing ruefully, he knew that wasn't true as his sister and Robert still raced their horses when he last visited them, accompanied by Ser Arthur Dayne who participated in the Storm End's annual tournaments for Robert's "forever" queen of love and beauty. Lyanna was as sassy as ever, still kidding him about his shyness with the opposite sex. Both she and Brandon still pushed him to dance and meet ladies. He was mortified when Garland's little sister touched him inappropriately at the last dance, brushing her hand across his bottom - she was so forward!

His King was thinking of having him be betrothed to Lady Lysa, the sister of his good sister Catelyn as their families are already joined. However, his sister urged him to decline the match and said something curiously about the tears of Lysa. As he found the lady to be unfriendly, he declined the match to his sister's relief.

Ned would have to petition Ser Arthur to request from his King's approval for his request to see his sister and her new babe, Addam. It still confused Ned that Ser Arthur told him that he would need to put all of his requests to see his sister through him but could directly petition the King to visit Jon Arryn or his brother (odd).

As soon as he saw Ned waiting for him at the training ground, Ser Arthur came to him and saw that Ned was still shaking from anger. Ned wouldn't say why he was upset but Ser Arthur knew it had to do with Lady Lyanna.

By nightfall, they were riding hard to Storm's End with a small escort of guards. Ned could not help but notice that Ser Arthur was gripping so tightly his reins that his normally well controlled stallion was acting nervously, galloping slantedly. He heard some rumors that not only did his sister capture the attentions of his King but also his best friend, Ser Arthur. He scoffed before at these rumors as Ser Arthur's conduct was beyond any reproach.

In his meetings with his sister, Ser Arthur was always present per the direction of their king according to Arthur. His sister was more beautiful every time he met her - her body, while still strong and toned, was more curvaceous from her babes. Lyanna expressed surprise at their visit but greeted both graciously, inviting them for a small snack and light refreshments after a hard ride and excusing her husband who was away. At that, Ned angrily threw his gloves to the floor and grounded out when her husband would be back. Surprised, she said in a fortnight and apologized again that Robert must have forgotten that Ned was coming. She would send a raven to ask him to come home quick as he would never want to miss a visit from his dearest friend Ned.

The food tasted like ash as Ned thought of all the whores Robert would go through in fortnight as he was known to bed two or three at a time. Looking at his sweet sister, he wanted to curse himself for ever inviting Robert to his house. It was all of his fault and he almost burst into tears.

As he sat quietly and sullen, Ser Arthur held his sister's hand and asked about her health and the babes. He filled her cup with tea and strangely hand fed her lemoncakes, wiping the crumbs gently from her lips as she sighed with pleasure. But Ned saw none of this as he planned in his mind all the ways he could kill his friend - it had to be a surprise attack as Robert was deadly with his war hammer.

He was no good company for his sister and secluded himself in his room, sharpening his sword and various knives.

By the time, Robert returned two days later, Ned was stewing with so much anger that when he saw him, he wrestled him to the ground. Robert laughed and pinned him down easily, outweighing Ned by almost twice (although he hadn't gotten fat yet with Sansa monitoring his food and alcohol intake). Finally, Ned had to squeal mercy otherwise he would still be on the ground as both Lyanna and Arthur looked upon them horrified. The two quickly left and gave the best friends some privacy after Robert decided to put Ned in a head lock.

Once Robert released a sputtering Ned, Ned was so infuriated he could not speak.

"Bastards... How could you?.... You promised... No shaming her," Ned blubbered as he pummeled the big man's strong chest to seemingly no effect.

"Ned, there are three bastards, and that was before I wed your sister. You know that - you were there - making sure I paid each girl. No more bastards since then - all mouth or arse or both! All paid in full. Not that many - only a handful since your sister made me the proudest man five times over - when she agreed to marry me, when she married me, and when she gifted me with each of our three boys," Robert crowed proudly.

"What???? But Brandon..."

Robert guffawed, and then Ned realized that his brother played another trick on him. He now knew who he should really maim (as kinslaying is wrong) - his arse of a brother!

"Lyanna told me that you were upset and she feared that it was likely a joke that Brandon had at your expense."

While the big man was still laughing, he enveloped his best friend in a hug, comforting and grounding him.

"Don't worry, Ned - we will get him! You know, I would never do anything to hurt you and Lyanna."

The big man kissed him on the top of his head.

"I know - I should have known better."

Both hugged with Ned wiping his tears that his friend pretended to not see.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the comment from LJ that made me delete the last two parts of this chapter:
> 
> RE: fill: Brandon/Catelyn AU  
> Anonymous  
> June 1 2016, 00:37:05 UTC  
> COLLAPSE  
> I'm sorry but the prompt had nothing to do with Sansa or even Lynna. No one needed the bridges or the roads? Are you serious?
> 
> Apparently, the fills need to match exactly the applicable prompts - no additional characters and no additional plot and in all circumstances, no negative opinions about abandoned public works.


	2. Two lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> She loved two men.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is for naerys who wanted more Sansa/Arthur and more romance.
> 
> Note: word in italics are all GRRM.

Her father, her mother and her septa would be horrified. In fact, she was horrified at her own actions - the betrayal of her marriage vows, the cause of her lover's betrayal of his own vows to his beloved king, and, even worse, the betrayal of the trust of her husband, a man she was surprised to find she loved. 

Robert was not the man she met before - he was not a drunk, obese and rude man who publicly struck his wife and son. Instead, he was a young handsome strong warrior. Her Robert was a good-hearted man, so generous and loyal to the ones he loved; and he loved her, almost as much as he loved Ned she teasingly told him many times. 

Sansa did not think she would fall in love with her husband, especially knowing that the woman he really loved was not her. Robert loved Lyanna whose strong body she inhabited by some strange act of magic. She thought she might become angry like how Cersei became embittered with jealousy. But instead of growing bitter about living a lie or feeling trapped in her marriage, she found herself reveling in the freedom of being Lyanna, a spirited woman whose husband exuberantly encouraged and supported her pursuits (e.g., studying about flora and fauna, tapestry weaving, archery, dancing, etc.). Since he did not really know Lyanna as he only met her briefly, she could be herself as well as try any of the activities she heard that Lyanna loved. The only thing he expected was her horse riding with him, which she was relieved to discover her body naturally remembered what to do and mastered.

Robert was her best and truest friend. He listened to her (although he sometimes disagreed to his later regret) and was so proud of his brilliant wife, crowing to anyone and everyone (sometimes more than once or twice) how lucky he was to marry her. Sansa realized that he truly loved her - her gentleness, her taking care of him (making sure he did not overindulge in sweets, also her weakness, food or wine), her sweet displays of affection, and her sassiness.

So she was saddened when she found him in the pantry with a serving girl. How could he betray her? 

Robert cried and pled for her forgiveness and for her not to tell Ned. He could not help himself sometimes when she had her moon blood. His hand was simply not enough, and the women (not singular she was unhappy to hear) were so available and inviting. They meant naught to him; and she believed him. If she asked him a question, he would never lie to her which she discovered to her dismay when she asked his opinion on a pink dress she wore (hideous he said at that time). He promised to try his best to refrain (he would talk to the maester to see if there was some cure) and if that didn't work, he would be more discrete. She eventually forgave him as she soon realized that he never wanted to hurt her (or Ned).

At first, she was pleasantly surprised that their "real" age difference (Sansa being seven years younger than him although Lyanna was only four years younger) didn't matter at the beginning of their marriage. In fact, Robert acted like he was the fourteen year old, not her; and she oft acted like his mother, making sure he was bundled up when they made the trek to visit her mother and her uncle in Winterfell.

But then she grew up while he didn't truly. While they still confided in each other and talked, she wished for more - for him to be more interested in improving the Stormlands. But instead, he did the bare minimum of his duties, relegating more and more of the responsibilities of maintaining the keep and his lordship to her. He frankly had neither the patience nor the aptitude for it. He was better at swinging his war hammer and aiding his king in ridding the kingdom of rebellious factions.

And every time her father visited, Ser Arthur came too. She noticed his attraction to her, and she tried to dissuade him by being distant and never leaving her husband's side. 

But then her husband had to leave suddenly to deal with some land dispute that threatened to be violent. And she found herself fleeing from Ser Arthur, unlike how she normally handled unwelcome suitors (which was to immediately say a firm no). She realized that she was fleeing from him because she was attracted to him too. Sansa knew if they were alone together that she would want to taste his lips, his neck, his chest... Was this the hunger her husband was afflicted with? 

Ser Arthur would never touch her without her assent, and his eyes hungrily asked for it every time they met. He wanted her to invite him to her solar where he could recite poetry to her as he held her in his arms. Their first trysts were just that - very chaste even though she perched on his lap, rubbing and feeling the hardness of his member. They could not kiss for if they did, she knew they could not stop there.

When they had meals with Ned, she greatly enjoyed their discussion of the public works the King was building, the artwork the King sponsored and of his travels. Her father seemed to idolize Arthur, reminding her of what he promised her in Kingslanding - " _when you are old enough, I will make you a match with a high lord who is worthy of you, someone brave and gentle and strong_." Arthur was that man, the man her father promised.

While she loved her husband, Sansa yearned for Arthur, to be loved and cherished by him. Feeling so wanton and impure and deceptive like Cersei, she cried as she walked in her private courtyard. His arms wrapped around her, and she turned to kiss him as he tried to kiss her tears away. He was the first to stop and apologize, that he should have not disturbed her in her private quarters nor transgressed when she was so sad. But she truly did not want to stop. 

When he left, she tried to forget him. But each time Ned visited her and her husband, she could not forget his touches and his gentleness towards her (Robert was never gentle to her enjoyment). Arthur felt the same as he oft trembled when Sansa was near him. It was the sweetest pain.

To this day, she did not know how he ended in her bed that day her father and Robert went hunting together. Arthur was such a generous lover who worshipped her body slowly, surely and ever so deeply, wringing from her multiple orgasms. After their love making, he held her closely, whispering his devotion and his love for her. She knew that she loved him too.

How could she love two wonderful, yet different men at the same time?


	3. Two Lovers - Redux

Sansa sometimes forgot her past life, especially when she was in the strong arms of her husband, nestled against his soft chest hair which got coarser and sparser as it reaches to his wondrous cock. She was his Lya, his fierce goddess whom he fervently worshipped. Every time they energetically couple, which was at least once or twice daily except when she had her moonblood, Robert would gasp out Lya over and over, as if he knew that she needed to hear that name. In his arms, she felt so much love, so protected and so cherished.

She almost forgot what it felt to be stripped and beaten. To be surrounded by enemies and false friends. To see the head of her dead father rolling on the ground. To see her septa's head on the spike. To be derided and called stupid because she once believed in dreams and songs. To hear of the deaths of almost every member of her family from a mad man child who enjoyed hurting her and making her cry. To feel so alone and helpless.

At the beginning, she had nightmares of her memories of that time. Sansa would wake up crying and shaking as her husband held her. Sansa told him almost everything, weeping about her father (and he almost wept too in horror), her dire wolf, her mother and her siblings, but she refused to tell him about his fate. She blamed herself for everything that happened. Her husband kissed her tears away, while always murmuring that she was naught to blame, how he would always be there to protect her, that Ned would be there too (he would make sure of it), that she was safe, loved and would never be alone. Although he normally kept no secrets from his Ned, he vowed not to mention this to him. 

Sansa never knew whether he believed her or thought they were just fantastical ramblings of a mad woman or just nightmares. But since she told him, he would sometimes looked sad, knowing that by her silence that he gravely disappointed her in that life and obviously did naught to keep her from harm. 

Robert tried his best to be a better man, more like his bestest friend. He would try to think before he acted, although at times his cock still led him astray as there were things he could not ask her to do (she was Ned's sister!). It was inevitable that he would disappoint her again in this life; and he did spectacularly, with his cock deep into the throat of their serving lady.

And he knew his sweet lady wife was frustrated with him, disappointed that his world was revolved around only her, Ned and himself, and that he wanted naught to do with the workings of the keep or the surrounding lands, relegating much of the duties to his castellan. The only thing he was good with was his sword-work (that is, fighting and fucking). And he was good to Ned and his Lya, or he tried to be.

Robert did not understand her selflessness, of wanting to help others, even at the expense of having fun with him and Ned. His Lya told him that this was her second chance, and she wanted to make this life be meaningful and to make a difference. She threw herself into her studies and into managing their stronghold. In a year, she learned more than he forgot in his twenty-two years and made significant improvements to the stronghold. Yet his wife always made time each day for him, oft riding with him whether outside or in the comforts of her bedchamber. And she always forgave him.

That was why he looked the other way and even encouraged her relationship with Ser Arthur Dayne for he knew he was not enough for his Lya nor did he truly deserve her. With the exception of coveting a man's wife, Arthur was a good man, almost as good as Ned. He was worldly and learned. And he was so fucking honorable - never making any move even though it was clear that his wife desired Arthur (at least to him, he could tell from her blushes, her biting her lower lip, and her heated looks). Fuck! If a fine woman gave Robert that look, he would have her bent over the table in a heartbeat, plowing into her until they both come (before he wed of course). 

Robert could not bear to see his Lya sad; and he had to do something. He challenged Ser Arthur to a sparring and began to pound on him at full speed, showering him with powerful blows. He was impressed that the surprised Arthur was able to block most of the blows. When they stopped for a break, he warned Arthur to not hurt his wife or he and Ned would do worst to him, but he either needed to please their lady or leave her be and not come back. Looking hard at the man, he grounded out that he and Ned would go hunting and be away for a week.

During the hunting trip, Robert had a hard time focusing on the hunt. Luckily, Ned stepped up by focusing for the both of them and making him forget most of his worries. Robert knew that Arthur was perfect for his Lya, nay for Sansa, and that she could love Arthur. He did not want to lose his wife and his best friend.

When Robert returned, his lady wife greeted with him with the same love and affection in her eyes. He should have never doubted her love for him. His lady wife and her lover always maintained an appropriate distance and acted honorably in public and in his (and most important Ned's) presence. But he suspected their affair by the happy sparkle in her eyes whenever Arthur visited.

On the day they wed, Robert vowed to do his best to make his Lya happy. It was both the hardest and easiest vow to keep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This may be a redundant chapter (not furthering any plot) but I am fascinated by Robert. It should probably be before the last Stannis chapter.
> 
> I want the men she loves to know of her past life.


	4. Tutti

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is a Stannis chapter for Tommyginger.

Stannis was surprised that he actually admired his brother's wife, Lady Lyanna, even though she inexplicably loved her husband. 

He watched her suspiciously, waiting to catch her in a lie as he could not imagine why a great lady could love his brother. It must be a cruel game that she was playing on Robert, the cruel games that beautiful women play. But even after another poorly delivered joke of Robert's, there was always a softness in her eyes whenever she looked at her Robert as she lovingly called him; and his brute of a brother rightfully glowed with happiness. It was both fascinating and sickening how they doted on each other.

Even though Stannis was sure that his elder brother only understood one out of every five words she spoke, Robert always crowed how right she always was and what a wonderful wife and mother to him and their boys while she would graciously demure and smile gently at him. Robert would oft laud her many accomplishments and skills (for example, the beautiful matching cloaks she made for him and, of course, Ned, with only the clasps being different - stag for Robert and wolf for Ned) and avidly supported her many pursuits. 

He had to admit that this was one of the very few times his eldest brother was correct. 

Lady Lyanna was not the wild she-wolf that everyone called her (or the wolf bitch he named her when he first heard of their betrothal). Instead, his good sister was truly a gentle, gracious and accomplished young lady with seemingly no hidden or evil motivations. She also knew the history of the great houses as he could see that she understood the derisive references he made about Robert being like Tytos by the slight pout of her full red lips (while Robert guffawed that he called him a tit!). His good sister spoke beautifully and eloquently - her pronunciation and grammar were impeccable. And he had to admit that she brought out the best in Robert, who did not curse or drink more than two goblets of wine while in her presence. Their three good natured boys were also well-behaved and always traveled together like a wolf pack Robert proudly proclaimed as he grinned at the Stark siblings, who were close, but not as close the Lannister twins.

The only time she displayed any wolf-like or lupine characteristics was when she privately upbraided him on his abhorrent behavior, behavior she would not accept in her little boys, towards her husband and, of course, Ned. If he did not appreciate Robert's joke or story, he should calmly advise Robert accordingly and change the subject, instead of yelling at him and Ned and storming out. The reason why Robert were telling those jokes and stories about Stannis was that he wanted to include Stannis in the conversation. While she agreed Robert's attempts were not particularly charming, he was trying to improve his relationship with Stannis. Her husband had the best of hearts but sometimes needed some guidance. He, on the otherhand, made no such attempts; and he hurt the feelings of her husband. There was such a coldness in her eyes when she informed him that his behavior was simply not acceptable nor allowed, not the behavior or the fealty he should display in front of Robert, his Lord, the Lord of the Stormlands and the head of his House. She told him that in the North, his behavior towards Ned, a Stark, would never be tolerated. Her protectiveness and her fierceness made him admire her more.

When he came back into the private dining room, he saw Ned comforting his brother. With her blue eyes glaring at him, Stannis mumbled his apologies to both that his brother quickly accepted; and his brother embraced him most painfully. When he was finally released, Stannis saw the two Stark siblings, holding each other and both smiling fondly at his brother. When Robert returned to his wife's side, he gently enveloped her in a sweet embrace with Ned's hand fondly on his shoulder. 

Stannis saw how the three were seemed so united; and he knew he wanted that. He wanted Lady Lyanna to be his devoted lady wife, Ned to be his closest friend and their boys as his. His brother was blessed to have such a wonderful lady as a loving devoted wife, such a great friend and such well-behaved boys!

========

When Sansa first met Stannis, she could not believe that the oldest Baratheon brothers were related. While Robert was jolly, acting like a naughty boy who swiped the last lemoncake, Stannis looked like someone who just had his lemoncake stolen. Stannis clenched his jaws so tightly that she thought his teeth would shatter while Robert both smiled and laughed easily.

She was first put off by his suspicious stares and suspected that he was being protective of his brother. He must have thought she was using Robert to control the rich coffers of the Stormlands. Her theory was bolstered when he referred to Robert as Lord Tytos Lannister who was wed to women who used and rumored to have cuckolded him. She would never bring financial ruin to House Baratheon and to the Stormlands - in fact, she increased their coffers by negotiating more favorable trade agreements. But Sansa did fear that he discovered her secret love for Arthur (who made himself scarce whenever Stannis visited) and would tell Robert. She never wanted to hurt her husband.

When Stannis yelled at her husband and her brother and ran out of the room, she saw the hurt and regret in her husband's eyes.

"Lya, I am so sorry. I wanted to make him smile - for him to be nicer to you. You are nothing like Tyto's latter wives - you are the best wife and mother." 

Her husband is more perceptive than most give him credit for. She oft felt that he could read her mind, as he was so attuned to her emotions. Sansa sometimes suspected that he already knew.

"And you thought a story about how you two, when you were bigger and older boys, tormented him, a much smaller and younger boy, would make him smile."

"Lya, I am sorry but you must admit it funny that we covered him in honey and rolled him in dirt and leaves." 

Robert elbowed gently Ned. She could not help but muffle her giggle as she saw her father looking both so guilty and so amused at the same time. 

"Oh, Robert... I want you to be better, and you too, Ned. Stannis seems sensitive, and you hurt his feelings."

"He thinks I am an idiot, and you and Ned are idiots to love me. He may be right about me, but I could not let him treat you and Ned poorly."

"My Robert, you are no idiot. You must try, try harder than you just did. When we talked last night, you said you wanted you and Stannis to have the same relationship that I have with Ned. Ned, tell him that we were not as close before I married him."

Ned nodded as it was true that instead of losing his best friend to his sister, which was what he originally feared, he gained another best friend in his sister. Sometimes he thought she was a different person than the person she was before she was married. But then he realized that she matured from an impulsive almost feral girl and blossomed to such a lovely lady.

"And you know why that is, right, my Robert?" she asked.

Robert also nodded. He remembered their talks before their marriage when he confessed about his bastards and told her everything, about why Ned was worried for him about their marriage, how Ned was actually scared of his older siblings and their pranks, knowing somehow that she would never judge Ned or him harshly. And he was right - Lya brought them all closer together. His Lya deserved every happiness, more than he knew he could give. He knew that she was a precious gift that he did not truly deserve.

"I will talk to him and he will treat you and Ned better."

"Lya, please be gentle with him," Robert teased.

Even after hearing his teasing words, Sansa was much harsher to Stannis than she normally would have acted; but she would never allow anyone mock her father, much less her Robert. 

When Stannis looked at them afterwards, with so much want, she realized that he was much like her with her siblings in her past life, the odd person out. Stannis was different from his gregarious brothers, more sensitive and quiet; and he yearned, like the way she yearned in her past life, to be accepted by his family. 

It was the most evident when he watched her boys play. She saw him asking Arthur, the eldest, why he let baby Addam play with his toy. 

"Because he is my brother. Mother said that we are part wolves too; and we are strongest together. Anyone who hurts or tease Addam will have to face me and Jon," her son proudly chirped.

Stannis seemed so shocked that it almost broke her heart. Yet she knew that Robert did not mean to hurt Stannis, like Ned or Arya didn't mean to hurt her in her past life. 

And then she saw with such pride how both Robert and Ned included Stannis in activities that he would enjoy (such as sailing), rather the ones only they would enjoy. She even saw Stannis make a joke (well not a good one even in comparison to the rather bad jokes her father tells) and awkwardly smiled. Of course, Robert had to exclaim, "The seven hells will now freeze over now that Stannis just grinned!" And Ned, of course, chortled. Sansa was relieved when Stannis finally laughed. At that moment, she realized that they were truly a family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stannis' joke was a knock knock joke.
> 
> Knock, knock
> 
> To.
> 
> To who?
> 
> To whom!
> 
> I am sorry but I just could not write Stannis joining Sansa's harem because of the 200 pound plus elephant in the room (aka Robert).


	5. Her father's love

What surprised her is how much closer she was to her father than her mother. 

Because of her opposition of Brandon's desire to rebel against King Rhaegar, Catelyn viewed her as someone who could not be trusted, a Targaryen sympathizer even though her own father (and Catelyn's father) was sent to the wall by the King. Since she was Brandon's favorite sister (although she would note that she was his only sister), Catelyn was never blatantly rude to her, but instead was quite distant, oft leaving the room if there were only two of them in the room. Although Sansa was always aware that her mother did not like Jon (and felt guilty that she treated her half brother distantly), she now fully understood how he felt, being excluded and treated as an outsider in her own home. It hurt her so much that her mother did not love her and would likely never will. Catelyn took her house words to heart - Family, Duty and Honor. Sadly, Sansa was not truly family in her mother's eyes. Thus, her visits to Brandon were oft short and seldom even though he welcomed visits from his wild sister. 

Sansa noted that at first blush, the personalities of Brandon and her husband appeared similar. Both men were known to enjoy food, drink and sex (not necessarily in that order). They loved to laugh but she found her husband more thoughtful (or at the very least thoughtful to her and Ned) and less impulsive. While Brandon loved to boast about his own exploits and accomplishments, Robert would love to laugh about the escapades he had with Ned. The boasts that Robert made were about his luck in capturing his fierce northern princess and his pride in her many accomplishments. Because of the many pranks that Brandon pulled on and terrorized Ned with, Robert barely tolerated her uncle even though he was much warmer to Brandon than Catelyn was to her.

Sansa and especially Robert looked forward to visiting Ned or having Ned visit them. While Ned loved his sister Lyanna, he was leery with her moods and her being a more than willing accomplice to their oldest brother's pranks on him. But when he saw how happy Sansa made their Robert, they became much closer. During the month-long visits, the three were almost inseparable as they oft raced their horses although Robert would always steal Ned for a week.

When Ned was with Robert, he was more confident and happy. He smiled more, and she realized how rarely she saw him smile before. There was such a lightness to his spirits that he didn't have when he was the Warden and Lord Paramount of the North, seemingly weighed down by his sense of his duty and responsibilities. Now he seemed to revel in keeping Robert out of too much trouble and helping his best friend choose the better, yet still fun, decisions.

However, the one area that her father lacked confidence was in his interactions with the ladies. Ned was painfully shy; and the more beautiful and more gracious and kind the lady, the more silent and nervous (and it seemed petrified) he was. He did not know how to act, what to say and where to even put his hands; and both Robert and Sansa had a bit of fun setting Ned into situations where he was surrounded by beautiful ladies. Sansa soon realized that if she weren't his sister and married to his best friend, Ned wouldn't be comfortable being around her. She now understood one of the reasons why they had such a distant relationship in her past life - he was frankly intimidated by ladies. Initially she was amused by Ned being almost painfully shy with ladies, but then she became concerned as she wanted him to find love, like the way she did with both Robert and Arthur. She saw his quick looks of envy when he saw Robert and her showing affection and when he saw Brandon together with Catelyn, the same looks Stannis had when he looked upon his brother and her.

But it was her relationship with her father that caused strain in her relationship with her lover. Sansa knew that her father would likely never understand and would be most angry at her betrayal of his best friend if he were to ever discover her infidelity. She always wanted and yearned for her father's approval. Yet every time she saw Ned, he brought with him Arthur; and she felt like she had to choose between the two men she loved - her father and her lover. Strangely she inherently felt that Robert would understand not necessarily because he too was unfaithful but because of his unconditional love for her, loving it seems everything about her including her weaknesses as she loved him.

After the initial headiness of their joyful and loving unions, Sansa started to pull away as Arthur tried to cling to her. In many ways, she was her father's daughter and measured herself against very strict moral standards. Not only was she married, she was also married to a man she truly did love; and Arthur was a member of the Kingsguard, who took vows of celibacy. Two sacred vows were being broken by them being together. No matter that Arthur made her feel complete and she loved him dearly, she thought it was wrong.

She should not have been surprised when Arthur fought for their love. He did not pretend that nothing was awry and stepped aside when she barred her doors or when she fled from his presence. Arthur followed her to the Godswood where she went to when things were too much. He was distraught and wanted to know, demanded to know how he wronged her for he never meant to and would never do it again - that for her, he would leave the Kingsguard and take her away, would do anything and everything for her. He thought she loved him like the way he loved her. 

And Sansa broke down, confessing her guilt of letting her father down, like she did in Kingslanding. Now that she had her father back, she could not lose him because of her own actions, recalling how it was her coming to the queen that led to her father's death and countless others. The guilt and shame inside her that she previously kept buried deep inside her overwhelmed her, and she cried and cried until there seemed to be no more tears. Arthur held his Northern princess and comforted her. He told her that it could not be her fault, that the queen would have spies and would know of her father's plans. There was no way her father could have escaped with his entire household without the queen and the Kingsguard not knowing. 

Arthur felt deeply like it could not be a weakness or a wrong to love especially when the love is pure like theirs. Their love was not poison - neither of them would hurt another to keep their love a secret. Arthur would never do any harm to Robert nor to Ned even though they may stand between them because he knew that she loved them so. And when it came to love, how could her father, or really anyone else, judge, especially now, when her father does not know of love? Arthur loved Sansa, and Robert loved his Lya. She did not betray her husband and would only be betraying herself if she ended their relationship. 

It took her some time to come to that understanding, compartmentalizing her love for Robert, her love for Ned and her love for Arthur and understanding that each of her loves did nothing to diminish her love for the others. It was difficult realization that she frankly had to constantly reinforce, but when she kissed Arthur once again after those months of separation, they were the sweetest of kisses as there was no guilt or stigma that she attached to them. 

When Sansa was able to reconcile her feelings about her Robert and Arthur, she begun her efforts to help her father find his love, even though it seemed strange that it was not with her mother. She was so relieved that he ended up not being betrothed to her aunt, who later wed Ser Jaime. 

In the Kingslanding, she avidly watched to see which lady made her father the most nervous; and she was pleasantly surprised to find it was Lady Ashara, her lover's beloved sister. Like her brother Arthur, Lady Ashara was a dark haired violet eyed beauty and so noble and kind. Sansa noticed that there were many other men who were also interested in her, including Ser Arthur's fellow kingsguard, Ser Barristan Selmy, and knew that her father faced stiff competition even without his being stymied by his lack of motor skills or ability to speak in her presence.

Sansa asked her lover to make introductions and to invite his sister to a tea with her and her father. Arthur laughed at Sansa's attempts to find her father true love, but he remarked that he knew that Ned was a fine man who would cherish his sister, who was also shy and sweet, and treat her well. And Robert was really pleased about her discovery and her plans too; and together all three made sure that Lady Ashara and Ned were together in more private settings where they can be themselves and get to know each other away from the prying eyes of all the lords and ladies.

It was magical and lovely to watch their love grow from friendship and respect, mutual attraction and finally love. Both Robert and she held each other when Ned finally had the courage to ask Ashara to dance. She helped her father pick flowers for his lady love; and she also taught him the latest dances. In the last tournament that Robert held, Ned won by defeating Arthur and crowned Lady Ashara his queen of love and beauty.

On behalf of Ned, Arthur successfully petitioned his king for his sister to be betrothed to Ned. When Robert and Sansa attended their wedding, Sansa could not help but be emotional as she saw such love between the two. While she knew her parents did love each other in her past life, her father's love for Ashara seemed so right and true, the love she only thought were in the songs and the stories of old.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just love Ned and wanted him to find happiness in this life too. 
> 
> I love imagining Sansa and her two loves plotting and planning on how to get the two shy ones together and how exuberant they all were when the two were married.


	6. Her boys

She cannot help but smile at the antics of her boys, her three little ones and her big boy Robert. Robert is pretending that he does not hear them trying to sneak on him even though little Addam (Addy) is giggling loudly and her eldest Arthur (Art) is shushing him loudly. She snorted when she saw her middle child face covering his face in frustration at the other two being so loud that he bumped into a table, knocking a vase down. When the vase broke, they all laughed as their boys jumped into their father's arms. He wrestled with them on the floor, tickling each one and especially Jon.

Robert was so strong and big, he was able to carry all three of them with ease even though they are no longer babes. Art is now ten, soon to be squired (her heart is not ready and likely never will be - she wanted her boys safe and close to her); Jon is eight (and his father says that he is going on forty with his seriousness); and irrepressible Addy is four (as he proudly told everyone sometimes more than twice).

They have grown so fast. And they are such good boys! In public, they are courteous. In private, while they sometimes fought, they always quickly make up. They are always together, reminding her of how Robb, Jon and Theon were so close. The two eldest never forgot to include Addy in their games even though he is much smaller and slower. 

She told each of the boys the stories of wolves and lions, how each lone wolf was eaten by the lions but how the lions could not attack a pack of wolves. The lions knew to be scared. She taught them about the houses, making sure to reiterate lions are not friends of the stags or the wolves. As a result, they travel in a pack and are wary of the Lannisters.

She is still amazed how her Robert is so close to Art. When Art was conceived, Robert did not want children, thinking he was not ready. He always pulled out. But she wanted babes and quietly despaired, worried that if she waited too long that she would be like her aunt Lysa, prone to miscarriages and having only one sickly child or none at all. Her lover, Arthur, knew - he watched her with Ned's twins, Rickard and Torrhen, saw how her eyes softened when she saw the babes. He gifted her her eldest - he only wanted her to be happy even though he knew he would not truly know their son. 

She had to confess all to Robert for she could not keep that from him, not deceive him that way. She could not be and would not be Cersei. Although she hurt him badly, it made their marriage surprisingly stronger. The affair she hid from him ate her soul, no matter how she tried to rationalize that she loved her loves each differently, that she was not betraying her Robert. They held each other that night, both crying. He already suspected. Somehow she was able to convince him that she always loved him, that she was not running away, and that she wanted him to help raise their boy. She knows most men would have not been as understanding and accepting, and that made her love him even more.

Robert turn out to be such a natural with children. Initially, it was difficult for him to punish the children, but he realized it was needed, especially after they all saw her spoiled bratty cousin, Sweetrobin.

In the end, Robert and Art formed the tightest bond. While little Art had his namesake's eyes, he was all Robert's, down to his ability to get into all sorts of shenanigans as well as his fighting prowess. Like Robert, he is big and is an extremely fierce and effective fighter. Art loves to laugh and make others laugh. He has the biggest heart, like his father. Robert has confessed that he shared her sadness that Art would soon be fostered.

Their next son, Jon, is calm and more measured, more like her father and her lover Arthur. He is the sweetest of the sweet boys. Robert always tells her that Jon is all her and Ned, his two. But she knows that is not true - Jon is his. She wanted to gift her selfless husband with a child of his own. He told her that both of the boys were his boys - that he did not love Jon more than Art, that he loved them both. When slighter Jon did not excel with his sword work, Robert spent much of his free time to instruct Jon, focusing on the importance of technique over brute strength. He also asked her lover to give both boys private instruction. For Jon, Robert is always his hero - every pat in the back from his father made Jon glow with such pride and happiness.

Her last boy was unexpected. She hurt both Robert and Arthur - that was what she regretted the most, but she could not regret Addy. He is the most silly and affectionate boy who worshipped his older brothers.

Even now, she did not know how young Addam Marbrand, Ser Arthur's squire, caught her eye. She first knew of him from overhearing her ladies' tales of his sexual prowess. He was only eighteen, only a few years older than Robb when he was proclaimed King of the North, while she was twenty seven at the time. Although both Arthur and Robert were very attentive and loving, she felt that she was no longer the young girl with whom they both fell in love. While her waist was still small, her breasts were not as perky although they were fuller; and she had some fine stretch marks. So it was flattering to see a young man, who could have any young and pretty girl, would give her such heated looks. She did not love him but she liked him well enough and loved his youthful cockiness. Her ladies were right that he was a fine lover. He ate her up, making her toes curl in delight; and he taught her how to pleasure him orally. It was fun and exciting at first but she did not love him and immediately ended it after their first and only tryst. 

She remembered telling both Arthur and Robert that night, watching them look at her in shock, disbelief, dismay, anger and betrayal. 

It took Arthur longer to forgive her - she was his only one. He already shared her with her husband, and his son was raised by her husband. He felt like he was the one who only gave and gave and felt used. It took him six months before he visited her, but he missed her so and could not be without her.

Robert was more forgiving and understanding. Perhaps it was because he understood meaningless fucks. But then she realized that he always loved her unconditionally as she loved him. He told her that he loved her, everything about her. Their love life surprisingly benefited from her tryst with Addam, as they discovered that they both enjoyed orally pleasuring each other (something she finally felt the courage to ask and give and something that Robert did not feel comfortable before asking his Lya).

When Arthur returned to her after receiving all of her letters (and Robert's letters telling him that she was crying and missed him badly), they really spoke about their relationship, about what he needed for this to work. He wanted to see her more regularly. He wanted to be with her children, all of them. He wanted to be the Sword for the children and would ask his king to be released from his vows. 

Robert joined in the discussions as any decision impacted him and the boys. He agreed that Arthur should be part of their lives but wanted them to be discrete, which they all agreed. Many alternatives were discussed and ultimately abandoned. Finally, they found a solution that was acceptable to all and was best for their boys.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Addam is very OOC but I imagined he was a young buck, much like his best friend.


	7. Dal segno al coda

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Memories

She sees again that Arthur is willing to sacrifice himself to be with her - to leave his King, whom he greatly admires and respects. Even though he loves her, Sansa knows that he feels torn leaving his King for three or four months every year to visit her and the boys, leaving the King without his strongest and most loyal protector. She thinks Arthur undersells himself as he is more than the King's protection - he is the King's trusted friend, his right hand. And Sansa knows that the King listens to Arthur, otherwise she would not be alive now.

When her grandfathers were called to (and were forcibly escorted) to the Capitol, one of the guards handed her a letter from the new King. She saw her mother's eyes immediately narrowing at her suspiciously, like they still do to her distress.

The remaining Stark family removed themselves to a more private room, although the door to the room was still closely guarded by the King's men. Reading the letter from the new King, her heart dropped - she had to present herself to the King's mercy or both grandfathers' heads would be adorning the city's main gate, along with their accomplices, which included the rest of her family, Catelyn whose foolish letter to her father was intercepted, Brandon, Ned and even her poor Uncle Benjen. She remembered vividly what the King's mercy meant, remembering the sound of her father's head being sliced off.

She feared the worst - she was being lured into a deathly trap. Showing the letter to Ned, who then passed it onto Brandon, she wrung her hands.

Catelyn took one quick look and then immediately yelled at her hysterically, "It was you who caught his eyes with your antics, and now our family is being destroyed. You are bringing down two great houses, House Stark and House Tully!"

Her husband held her back, but his eyes were wary and angry. 

"The King's men are only a few of hundred here in Winterfell. We can defeat them and we can still call our banners in the North and find a way to do the same in the riverlands," Brandon said.

"Benjen, please climb out the window to the top of this tower and come back to tell us their numbers. Brandon, I fear we cannot fight the numbers nor can we live with the outcome of rebellion," Sansa said. Her heart ached as she asked this, remembering how her brother Bran fell and almost died.

"Lyanna, I never thought you a coward. We are wolves and we cannot be cowered by threats of a son of a mad man. If there be blood, let it be the blood of our enemies and let their blood flow and flood the Seven Kingdoms," Brandon shouted angrily.

"Nay, I am not a coward and nor am I a fool like you!" Sansa hissed.

Ned stepped in between his two siblings who were glaring at each other. 

"Brandon, we needs not make rash decisions. The letter says that our sister is to follow our father in a few days. Let us consider all options first and then make our decision," Ned appeasingly said.

At the moment, Benjen came back and brokenly whispered that there was a huge host of men, seemingly thousands of armed men and Knights surrounding them in all directions. They had archers and would shoot down any ravens they send. There was not any way to escape or request aid. It was clear that if the King's demands were not met, the King means to violently take Winterfell and take Lyanna to Kingslanding, dead or alive.

Benjen's news deflated even Brandon and his fierce wife; and all looked at Sansa with defeat. She had to return to Kingslanding, the place where she was last stripped and beaten and humiliated. Looking outwardly calm and collected, she returned to the main hall and graciously gave the guard her assent to return to Kingslanding. 

Because she was a lady of a great house, she was given five days to ready herself for the trip, to ready her belongings and the belongings of her lady companions. None of the Winterfell men were allowed to escort her and to provide her protection. She was allowed the bare minimum of lady companions, only two ladies.

When she was able to escape to her room, she finally broke down and cried. She really did not know the new King. She heard he was well loved by the people, including the smallfolk, from the stories and songs, that she now knew were likely exaggerations and were written to either politically drum up support for or to vilify the subject or subjects of the story or song. 'Life is not a song.' 

She feared that unlike Joffrey who stopped at having her raped, the new King would have no such qualms. She threw up, remembering the riots and how those men, with their filthy hands and smelly breaths, were atop her, ripping her clothes and grabbing and groping her breasts, ass and her privates. Sobbing, she willed herself to not think the worst but no good ever comes from a Stark going south.

Knock, knock.

It cannot be time yet! They gave her more days. She wiped her eyes and forced her face to a courteous and calm facade.

Opening the door she saw it was Old Nan, who looked at her with her wise eyes. The old lady came in, closing the door with a loud click. Sansa felt that Old Nan could see right through her.

"My lady, I could tell that you are not yourself," Old Nan cackled.

Keeping her face calm was more difficult as Sansa unconsciously backed away from the old lady, as if she could escape this madness.

"We both know that you are not Lyanna who was quick to temper as she was beautiful."

"Old Nan, I know naught what you say. I am Lyanna, the eldest daughter of Lord Rickard Stark, the Warden and Lord Paramount of the North. I am the lady of this house, House Stark; and I command you to not speak of this to anyone."

Old Nan just laughed. Clutching her sides, "My lady, as you are a great lady I can tell. Your words and your actions betray you. The little wolf bitch would have cursed me and scratched me." The old lady rolled up her sleeves to show her collections of scratches. Sansa's eyes widened in shock.

"The little wolf bitch did not like hear the bitter truth about herself. She could claw out my eyes but I would still be able to see that it would be her fiery spirit and her immense stupidity that could destroy this great house as surely as I can tell that you care about this house and the North and that you are the one who can save us."

"Who are you, my child? Although you are wiser than you know, you are still a child, aren't you?" The old lady reached to her and stroke her hair as she begun to cry.

"Hush, my dear. I will not betray you to your brothers and your father although they are naught your brothers or father. Nay, do not tell me who you are... I know that you are a true Stark, that you are of the line of Bran the Builder, your blood is the blood of the First Men, you have the old magic and something more."

Enveloping her lady in her seemingly frail arms, Old Nan rocked her and sang her songs in the Old Tongue, the language of the First Men, words Sansa did not understand but that she felt. The songs gave her courage and hope. She was not alone, Old Nan was with her and would always be with her. She slept with the old songs ringing in her head, exhorting her that it was time and that she was to be the One.

The next days and the trip were a blur. She maintained her cool composure, snarling at the King's men as that was what she knew they expected and knew that they would tell the King if she acted differently. Each step to Kingslanding made her heart beat faster, made her want to run off like a coward her mother accused her of being. Old Nan was always by her side, looking at her encouragingly and mocking the King's men, which numbered fifty as the rest remained behind surrounding Winterfell.

Old Nan baited the men, "Methinks the new King must be as paranoid as his mad father if he thinks three unarmed women are threats to the Kingdom." She cackled and snorted at her own joke.

Watching with concern her antics and seeing how the men moved threateningly towards Old Nan, Sansa immediately stepped in front of Old Nan.

"Peace. She is but an old lady, slightly addled and very afraid as anyone would be. She is like a mother to me. Please, kind sers, leave her be."

Old Nan looked at her approvingly as peace was maintained. Her fears for Old Nan made her take action, made her stop thinking about all the horrible things to come, to instead focus on the immediate concern which was naught just merely herself. Sansa did not belong in this time and even if she died, it would only be a slight ripple in the fabric of time as Lyanna was supposed to die. But she could still make a difference - she had to believe, as Old Nan believed in her, that she came back in time for a reason. She was a Stark, a wolf, and she could be brave.

Once her party arrived to Kingslanding, Ser Arthur came to greet them and immediately separated her from her ladies. Seeing the concern on her face, he whispered, "Worry not, my lady. They would not be harmed, not even that old harpy that yelled curses on the King and his men."

Somehow, she felt safe with him even though he would not look her in the eyes, and his lowered eyes looked sad. He was closer to her than what was necessary, seemingly as to shield her from the prying eyes of the Court and the servants. When her body stiffened as she was led to the King's private wing, his hand was on her back, rubbing it gently as if he were trying to calm her nerves. Sansa felt like a captured wild horse, frightened and angry. When the large ornate doors were opened, she saw that it was the King's own bed chambers. He was going to rape her! Her eyes were wild with fear and she made to run. Strong arms gripped her and held her, and she thought she felt gentle kisses. Suddenly, the arms withdrew, and she faced an irate King who roughly grabbed her away from his Kingsguard. Ser Arthur made to go to her aid, but held back, looking much conflicted and pained.

"Witch, you bewitched my most trusted man! You can not turn him away from me. Arthur, leave or I would be forced to imprison you as an accomplice to the worst of treachery and betrayal!"

Ser Arthur slowly left the room, but before he left, he whispered to her, "My king is a good man. Tell him the truth and he will listen." 

The King looked at him hard; and in that moment, she saw the love and respect between the two men. Something Rhaegar saw in Arthur's eyes made his body droop slightly. But once the doors were closed, he immediately grabbed her closer to his body, pressing her body against his and grinding against her.

"Witch, did you promise your body to him? Did you give yourself to him? Like how you gave yourself to me, sucking me dry?"

She could not believe his words or even believed that her aunt would do such things, no matter what Old Nan has told her about Lyanna's wildness. It seemed like madness!

She began to protest, but he kept shaking her roughly, crying that he could not help himself, that he still loved her, that he still wanted her and that he would have her even if it was only for one night. He would keep her chained to his bed so he could take her over and over again.

Suddenly she felt such a surge of anger, and she slapped him hard. Even now she could not know if it was some remnant of Lyanna in her body, some sort of muscle memory, or whether it was some magical force that made her act.

She roared, "Fool! You still mean to steal a Northern princess! The North will never abide such a theft, and winter will come. And the riverlands will rise and flood the Crownlands with their forces. And the stormlands will shower and hail down upon your forces with the combined power of their naval and land forces. I see all of this, vast destruction and many lives lost. You will be known as the lovesick fool who led to the downfall of the Targaryen reign because he could not control his cock!"

At her words and her hard slap, he stepped back as if he awoke from a dream and looked incredulously at her. He saw the change in her eyes - from Lyanna's gray and stormy eyes to Sansa's icy cold blue eyes. She shone bright with anger and seemingly grew taller, with her face almost reaching his face while his Lyanna was much smaller, the top of her head barely reaching his shoulder. Her hair seemed to change color momentarily from rich dark mahogany to fiery red. She was even more beautiful than Lyanna! 

And he felt such wanting and desires - he knew it to be madness, but it was such sweet madness. He did not know whether to kneel down to this beautiful goddess. A Maiden seemingly come to life, or to smote this witch. 

Frightened and confused, he took out his sword and raised it but was stopped by the look in her eyes, the look of such empathy and understanding. His sword dropped loudly to the stone floor. 

He could not kill her, whether she was his Lyanna, the fierce Northern warrior princess, or a noble enchantress from the future. He trembled with desire even as he saw the scars marking her luminous skin. Instead of marring her beauty, they strangely enhanced them. The scars showed her strength, how she remain uncowered and how she endured and persevered. He wanted to kiss each one of her scars - somehow he knew that they must cover her young pert body. Rhaegar understood why Arthur fell under her spell. He knew that Arthur must have not seen this transformation, seeing her true inner beauty - for if he did, he would run away with her. He wanted to run away with her.

He brokenly begged, "I want you, loveliest of maidens. I need you. I am willing to throw away all, the Kingdom, my wife, my children, my legacy and the legacy of my family name to have you and keep you. I will love you, worship you and protect you from harm. Please come with me. Please."

She seemed to grow even larger, almost towering over him, her blue eyes blazed with such disdain and anger. Sansa glowed, illuminating the room with her brilliance, 'beautiful beyond enduring, terrible and worshipful.'

"Did Arthur repeat what I told him to relay to you? What did he say?" she demanded angrily.

"He said you could not go with me - that it would be wrong, that I had a duty to my kingdom, my people, my family."

"Did he tell you the last thing I told him? That I cannot love a selfish man?"

Even though Rhaegar madly thought to keep her here with him against her will, he knew that what he really wanted was her love, that he wanted her to want him and want to be with him. He wanted to be that selfless man she could love, but being that man, it meant he could not have her.

Covering his head in shame and despair, he cried, "I want to be the man you could love and respect but then I can't have you... I am so afraid that I would make other mistakes that would ruin countless lives... You must tell me of the future, how I can undo all my mistakes."

Sansa knew he was a good man - otherwise, Ser Arthur would have not followed him. But it was not the romantic love that caused him to steal Lyanna. If it were true love, he would not have tried to take her now as she knew he could see who she truly was. It was strange seeing herself (and not Lyanna) in the reflection of his eyes, but yet she was different, somehow more powerful and fierce than she remembered herself looking when she felt so broken and alone in Kingslanding, a pawn to be used and abused. The King had lost hope and his bearings, and she had to help him see that he was not that man, the man who would steal another's betrothed, the man who put his needs in front of the kingdom and his people.

She reached out to him, gently pulling his hands from face, and cupped his face that was wet with tears. She felt a tingling feeling when she touched his face with the palms of her hands. His face shone.

"Be not be afraid. You have done good works. You know what is right. Good men follow you. Listen to your heart, not the burning heat that you confuse for love. I believe that you are the rightful king who can lead the seven kingdoms to many years of peace and prosperity. Remember that you and your actions can remove the taint of your late father's rule. I believe in you, that there is goodness in you that good men like Ser Arthur sees in you."

Her blue eyes were filled with such warmth and kindness. And he wanted and had to believe in her words. He read the prophecy about the Prince that was Promised. He originally believed that he was the one who would save them but then he thought it could not be him, that he was not worthy, especially when he compared himself with his best friend and found himself lacking. But this powerful beauty believed in him, and his all of his doubts and fears seemed to go away. Closing his eyes, he meditated and centered himself, remembering himself.

When Rhaegar opened his eyes a few minutes later, he saw Lyanna again. Although her dark beauty still stirred his loins, he no longer felt infatuated with her, but instead felt so much passion for the red beauty inside her. Ashamed, he could not help but wonder if he did take Lyanna if he would see the Red Beauty come apart to his touches. But that was clearly not to be - she did not want him, and he could and would never rape her. He would let her go and now understood Arthur's reluctance in leaving her.

At the end, she was able to persuade him to not punish Ned, Catelyn, Benjen or Brandon by pleading that none of the Stark brothers supported Catelyn's actions and reminding him of Catelyn's youth and the influence of her father over her. However, the only thing that stopped him from demanding Lady Catelyn's head was that she looked much like the Red Beauty he just saw. When he pulled at Lady Catelyn's treacherous letter, he saw such fears in her eyes, as if he threatened to hurt someone much dear to her.

But Sansa could only save the lives of her grandfathers once she saw the correspondence between the two spanning five years plotting treason. She knew they were not lies - her grandfather betrothing his eldest son to lady of the riverlands and fostering his second oldest son in the Vale were atypical as marriages and fosterings tended to be with houses of their bannermen. 

Rhaegar mentioned that for sake of the people's perception of fairness and for the fact his spies could not locate any damning evidence, he planned to send Lord Tywin to the Wall too. Her look of shock and rage made him revisit that decision. He could not help but ask why.

"Your grace, you know the biggest threat to your kingdom is inside it. Lord Lannister has been running the kingdom these last years and he would not be willing to relinquish his control. You may think and it may be true that without his stewardship, the Kingdom would have fallen into chaos, but his actions are not benevolent. He aims to have his family be the kings and queens of Westeros. In my time, he was the mastermind that overthrew your father and ordered his men to rape and kill your wife and children."

Rhaegar recoiled in horror. While he did not love his wife and married her out of duty, he would not want any harm to come to her. Thinking of his children being killed enraged him. He decided that Lord Tywin would die and die by his own hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to add Old Nan! And I quoted a passage from Tolkien's LOTR re Galadriel's test as well as a quote from GRRM (both between apostrophes).
> 
> I had to cut this into two pieces (and plan to write a short epilogue) as I thought it was getting too long. I may continue to edit this chapter more.


	8. Finale

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sansa returns back to Kingslanding.

When Sansa left Kingslanding with a smaller escort of men led by Ser Arthur, who treated her party much more graciously than the men who brought her to Kingslanding, she thought she would never have to return nor have any further dealings with the beautiful sad silver prince again. But every time, her father came to visit, Ser Arthur would secretly bring a letter from his King to her. At first, the letters were full of words of love and contained poems and songs he wrote for her, the Red Beauty. She did not respond. Then the letters started to describe his frustration with the state of the Kingdom and the Court and his frustrations and his fears that he could do naught to improve the state of the Kingsom. It seemed that he felt so alone and needed someone who would listen and could keep his secrets. It was then that she responded to them. Although she told Robert about her past, there were things she would never tell him, never about the man he became, his evil wife and spawn, or his death. But yet Sansa wrote to Rhaegar stories of her past, what her parents faced as Lord and Lady of their house and the decisions they made and the foolish decisions made by Robert and his son. In describing certain actions they made, she found herself not agreeing with some of them and explaining what she would have done differently. The letters then evolved from confessions and tales of the past to letters between two leaders, him ruling all of the Kingdoms and she effectively the lord paramount of the stormlands. They discussed issues they faced and options being considered. At the end of each letter since the first letter, the King would also beg her to return to him. In the last letter, the King offered the position of Lord Commander of his entire forces to Robert as incentive for her to come to Kingslanding and be his Hand.

Now as she look at the eyes of her two lovers, Robert, her lovable and adorable husband, and Arthur, the love of her life, she knew that she needed to discuss this option - instead of Arthur coming to them, they along with the boys could come to him. 

She took out the letter and showed it to her husband who held it with trembling hands. He seemed shocked as it was clear that this was not the first of her correspondence with the King. Sansa kissed him and held his hands, whispering that the King will not steal her, that she is his and Arthur's.

It was such a high honor for Robert and the position was best suited for his skills. Arthur could still protect his King. And she could make an even larger positive impact on many more lives beyond those in the Stormlands. With the king granting her father and his bride some lands in the Crownlands, she and Robert would be closer to her father. 

She knew that Arthur preferred her idea over all the others they discussed. But this decision was really Robert's to make. And he was quiet and looked so sad.

Sansa took him aside so they could speak privately.

"Lya, am I not enough for you?" he asked quietly, almost whispering. He looked away. 

This was not her Robert, so loud, boisterous and confident. Sansa realized that she did this - she hurt him.

"Robert, I love you."

"Lya, remember our wedding?"

It was so lovely - her dress was so beautiful with appliqués of small pearls in the bodice as a nod to his land bordering the sea. But what it made it special was her feeling of being cherished and protected under his cloak, the strong feel of his arms around her, and at the end, his almost chaste gentle kiss as if she was too precious. 

She nodded and began to speak. 

He interrupted her, "I said I was yours. My heart was always only yours. And you said you were mine, but you were never my Lya, never truly... Let me continue, please. You were Arthur's Sansa, and, and I do understand that... It is that Lyanna would have left with Rhaegar, you told me that was what had happened. I know from talking to Ned that Lyanna wouldn't do even half the things you do and would have chaffed against the restraints of being a lady, the responsibilities expected of a lady that you not only take but also take many of mine... You were never my Lya."

"I am not Lyanna, and I do not know if she left unwillingly or not or if she understood what she was doing. But I am always your Lya, your wife and the mother of our boys. I love you. You are my best friend and the best father."

Robert enveloped her in his famous hugs. Breathing him in, his familiar scent which contained a strong whiff of horse, she felt safe. She kissed him and reached for him, murmuring, "You are so strong and fierce - you would never let him take me."

She quickly undid his pants. 

Robert pushed her back - they never fucked when Arthur was in the next room or even the same building. And as far as he knew, Arthur never fucked, or Arthur called it, made love to her when Robert was in Storm's End. 

She stopped him from pulling up his pants and said, "I want us to share a bed with Arthur."

She called for Arthur who stood by the threshold of their room, waiting for Robert to acquiesce. Robert slowly nodded, and Arthur quickly closed the door. She removed her clothes with both men looking at her in adoration. Kneeling in front of her husband, she orally pleasured him as she motioned Arthur to come near her. He held her, trying to relieve the weight on her knees, while she undid his pants and stroked him. It was messy and a bit awkward with the two men, neither wanting to touch or even look at the other man.

She knew and they understood that their current arrangement wasn't truly sustainable in the Kingslanding. If they were to be with her, they needs to share a bed. There were piques of jealousy as Robert demanded as a husband to be first in everything and as each man competed in a game of upmanship, with Sansa always being the victor. But eventually they settled down to an understanding, that if they loved her (and they did), they could not be cruel to and petty with each other. 

Only then did they accept the King's offer with Stannis taking over the lordship of Storm's End and Renley taking over Dragonstone. Art was to squire for Ser Oswell to be close to his father Robert. Jon was to squire with Ned but he wanted to go North, to go to the place his mum told him about. And little Addy at the end squired for Ned - he ran poor Ned, Ashara and their boys ragged as he was a combination of climbing Bran, feral Rickon and naughty Arya.

As they got closer to Kingslanding, her nightmares returned and only Robert's arms and kisses could keep them away. Her little men were worried about their mum, hearing rumors from the men that the King meant to steal her. They wanted to go back home, and a part of her wanted to return home, which was surprisingly not Winterfell but Storm's End. But they continued onward once Robert and Arthur were able to persuade the boys that between their blades and war hammer and their escort of armed men, they and their mum would be safe. 

Once in Kingslanding, the King was never alone with her, one of their stipulations. When the King met with them and told them that was wise of them, Arthur wanted to break his vows and take them back home. He saw that the King could barely control himself with his Sansa. The King knew of their affair and had asked if he ever saw her in her real form, a delicate and angelic girl with long red lustrous hair, pale glowing skin dotted with freckles and marked by scars, and blue eyes that looked like the cloudless sky one moment and the roiling grey sea another. He never told the King but he saw his Sansa every time she peaked. He knew Robert did too as he would also pant out her name Sansa when she did, and when she rested in his arms, her husband would lovingly kiss her scars. 

But the King managed to keep his vows, although he would sometimes look at his Hand with such want, but never in the presence of Robert, who was more confident and more commanding at Kingslanding. At those few times, his Sword would hover protectively over his lady. 

King Rhaegar's reign was long and prosperous. Many new developments and public works were completed, including the much needed sewer (with the waste being used as fuel) and plumbing system. In addition, the King supported the arts and music, sponsoring free performances and statues for the people to see and enjoy. Rebellions were quickly snuffed by the mighty war hammer of Robert and his well trained men. When the Longest Night came, Robert, his Ned, Arthur and their sons rose against the White Walkers with Jon smiting the Night's King, using the dragon glass weapons Sansa had the smiths forge for the King's forces (using schematics from Tyrion's books she read in her past life) and the Night Watch. They were so proud of their brave sons who fought like a pack of wolves, even howling at the end.

Sansa no longer had nightmares, buttressed on both sides by her two men, her twin pillars of strength. Her life was naught what she would have ever imagined in her past life - she imagined her old self calling their sleeping and living arrangements improper and wrong. But that naive girl had since grown and learned that 'love is love is love.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The words between apostrophes are from Lin-Manuel Miranda.


End file.
